Forth-giving, forgiveness

I read a little Walt Wangerin, Jr. this morning at my friend Kevan Chandler's house. The collection of stories is called "Ragman" and I recommend picking it up. The title story is only two and a half pages long and you'll likely be crying by the end of it. Later in the book is a letter written to Walt's brother Greg on the occasion of Greg's marriage. Two things

Walt said that struck me:

Firstly, Vows are unchangeable things in the midst of constantly changing circumstances. We always breath out a shaft of clear light into a strange unknown when we make a vow to love another person. We never really know all that it means. We cannot know. Mystery. Meaning and implication are too much to grasp. We choose to love because love is true, we lay down our lives like Jesus not because we really understand what we are doing, but because it is the only True thing to do.

Secondly, Forgiveness is the most important part of a marriage. I can't help but notice that this word is made out of the word 'to give'. Forgiveness means "forward-giving" or "forth-giving", to give forth. When hurt, fear, sin, selfishness, or any other means of division has brought brokenness and we've withdrawn ourselves from each other, forgiveness is how we give-forth our love again. It's the only way we can draw near in love after the divorcing power of sin.

God has forth-given his love to us after we were taken from him by sin and selfishness. Jesus walked toward us and into our sin, through it to kill it on the Cross, and gave himself to us. Forth-giving. Forgiveness.

We have been removed even from ourselves by sin! God has purchased us. The Son has given the children back to the Father and the Father brings forth the healed Bride and gives her to the Son. Likewise God is forth-giving us back to ourselves. Because he has forgiven us, we can forgive ourselves. No longer must we be divided and at war within, living in guilt, regret, hatred or bitterness.

God gives us back to himself, gives us back to ourselves, and we imitate. We give ourselves back to him and to others. We forth-give our love to others when in unforgiveness we had removed our love from them. And here's a last mystery: even we participate in the giving of others back to themselves when we forgive.

Never withhold love. It is for giving.